Thread:KJ8/@comment-64.30.85.239-20161214192353/@comment-64.30.85.239-20161216153140

KJ, I have tears 😢 I have a question, please feel free to withhold an answer. Do you feel responsible for your nephew's death...deep down? You say "He was joking"...but I hear something else coming from you here...something loud and clear. Please baby girl, self blame is a HUGE part of victims of suicide. I call us the "victims" because those of us left behind in that wake of horror are the TRUE victims. After my sister died I recall searching for support groups specifically targeted toward grieving suicide "victims". There were NONE! People who haven't experienced this kind of "mourning" cannot understand it AT ALL! The subject of suicide is STILL taboo! WTF? SERIOUSLY? I had to go it alone, as did my remaining siblings and my parents. We didn't even speak with one another about how we were TRYING to cope. For me, I felt doing so would add MORE to their already burdened souls. Your wound is DEEP. It is still fresh. It is still bleeding. This wound is deeper than most people realize. I have had two other siblings die since my sister's suicide, neither by suicide. My parents have passed as well...all of these deaths happened within a few years of one another... BUT even though I was overwhelmed by this, it did not REMOTELY compare with my 21 year old sister's suicide. To this day my wound still aches, but I am no longer blaming myself, or anyone or anything. It has taken a long time. PLEASE KJ, accept my (((HUGS))), accept my understanding, accept my hand, accept my ear. Love yourself a little bit today, please, for me? I'm only asking for a little bit. And while you do, I will feel comfort knowing that your boy and my girl are together enjoying a pain free existence, laughing at card tricks, holding hands, and sending hugs to us. I love you -Doli-