Thread:Pamster315/@comment-27849239-20160629130308/@comment-26424426-20160629204659

Sorry for my delay. I was heading out the door when I saw your post, TDC. I had dentist and car appointments and then a lunch meeting. So my delay was nothing personal. I type poorly and so wanted to get to my desktop, rather than my tablet.

Thank you for your gracious, thoughtful and considerate apology. We don't really know each other well even here, but I have enjoyed all your contributions to the wikia itself and your sense of humor. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and enjoy your wit and banter.

So now here is mine. I am sorry for being oversensitive, and making you feel upset in any way. That is never my intention. This is supposed to be a safe place for everyone. So I shall explain....

I am here a lot, that is a fact. I am retired, and have some busy days but also some are not. I am also a night owl. So I keep weird hours, too. But a couple months ago I had said that I'd be busier during the days as we work on new house and take some long overdue vacations. Yup, the gods heard me and zapped me with a horrible viral infection that laid me flat for three weeks and with no voice. This became my only outlet -- that's good and bad.

I was aware of my posting and had even told my hubby that I would be glad to get busy and cut down on it. (He travels a lot, and so he couldn't share any of the house info with me so sick...so that's this weekend's project.) So I was already internally sensitive to that....and there is absolutely no way you could have known that!

So your lone post on my wall just got me. I felt guilty, ashamed and like a big monopolizer. If I didn't value you, I would not have reacted at all.

On a couple other forums I was on in the past, I rarely said anything. So it's a compliment to this wiki that Foss created, that I and others post here as we do. I saw your update on your profile page, and hope you will change that -- because you are welcomed and valued here. That's why I responded to your posts when you were doing updates and wondered if anyone was reading them, etc. I felt terrible and wanted you to know how appreciated they and you are -- especially you.

Many of us here are of a mature age. retired or have/had serious life challenges, and this is a safe place where we feel understood and can reach out in support of others. (I was bullied and made fun of all through childhood, etc.)  We had a player here that generally just liked tech discussions, and sometimes was snippy but overall it was okay. One time she posted something personal to ask us on her wall -- so no one got email alerts. I was relatively new to the wiki, and didn't realize the running stream of all posts under "Wiki Activity." I never knew she posted until someone else noticed the rant she posted about being ignored and how it was probably because a select few of us didn't care. Yup, I was one to my shock, and others included two ladies who were not on often because of their gravely ill mothers. That did not sit well with me and them.

So I have become OCD in reviewing post headings so no one feels ignored. I'm here too much. No it isn't my job, there are others here to support our friends, etc. But since I don't like people to think ill of me, I overcompensate.

And now my overcompensation has done exactly that to you....and I am so sorry!

As Foss has said many times, and Heidi said above so eloquently -- and Heidi, I don't even recall what you said so no, I never take anything you say as anything other than good and fun -- this is not the optimal way to communicate.

Have I ever said the wrong thing here? Are you kidding? With my post count, I have made more than my share...seriously. I never meant anything to hurt...I have a sarcastic sense of humor, or I string too many thoughts together, etc. I have erred...and been forgiven by these exceptional people.

So I hope you will accept mine as I have accepted yours. If not, that's your right to feel that way. I will still care about you and defend you. (One of my dearest friends is one who could not stand me on sight when we met many years ago. We cleared the air; sometimes that makes for the best -- we are always honest with each other and very protective of each other, too. Am I difficult to understand? Ask my hubby; his head is like a bobble doll when it comes to that.)

I hope you will reconsider, stay active and talk with the folks here. If you prefer to ignore me or think ill of me, that's okay. I won't ignore you and have no ill regard at all; exactly the opposite.

Thank you again for a most wonderful post. I hope you feel welcome, safe, respected and happy to be here once again.

Pam