Thread:Cynamon89/@comment-26947472-20160702234730

To all my friends! I am so thankful that you didn't give up on me during my long absence. Some of you already know I was in hospital for 2 months...actually that was only one hospital. Apparently, there were a couple of hospital stays leading up to that one...of which I have no memory. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with depression, including suicidal attempts or ideations, and self injury. The older I get...the worse it seems to be getting. During the 2month hospital stay I underwent ECT treatments to try to help ease some if not all of the symptoms. The ECT treatments took a lot of my short term memory and left me in a "zombie-like" state for about a month and a half. I could not speak or function apparently. My son had to stay with some friends for three months and did not know if I would ever be able to take care of him again. (Frankly...though he is home with me now...I still worry if I'm capable or not. He is so precious...he deserves the best!) I am still struggling with depression some, as well as a lot of anxiety and fleeting thoughts of self harm but so far the suicidal ideations are gone. My mind is still lagging, my memory is still trying to return, my physical state is so weak...but I'm in the game when I can be. Thank you so much for your understanding and patience with me! I count you all a very special part of my life! And sometimes...each of you give me a reason to keep on going... 