Thread:Sannse/@comment-30663775-20170711192614/@comment-26424426-20170712184545

My apologies for being absent most of yesterday. I tend to sleep in the daytime since I spend my nights coughing. However, i digress and I haven't even started!

If anyone does inyend to read this, please hydrate. If you don't care what I have to say, I certainly understand and respect that.

MD, I really appreciate your post. Sometimes those of us looking outside any situation naturally don't understand the dynamics. (Example, "How did the Barones ever marry each other?)  So thank you for letting us know the team you are, and the respect you have for each other.

Quite frankly, I am impressed and amazed by you three, the moderators and volunteers, and those wiling to serve. You all are willing to take on work voluntarily -- committing your time, energy, talents and putting yourself on the line. You know going in that not everyone will agree with you, to put it courteously. Some initial reactions to your posts threw me for a loop! You are our friends, members of this community, and our leadership. We owe you respect and to be gracious even when we disagree...and we will disagree.

Betty hit the nail on the head -- we have been in turmoil since our first interloper, and we never got the chance to really heal as a group.

Things were going on all over the place, and some people did not understand what he was up to. That's okay, but I've heard from some of his initial defenders who now know what and happened, and through their own interactions with him felt used. This happens to all who act in good faith and why our welcoming community took it so hard. (But he was bammed from Wikipedia and many Internet sites as well as numerous communities within Wikia/Fandom for so many actions to members within and outside the Wikia. I had researched him across the Internet and learned far more about the meanness folks do than i ever wanted to.  He was scary.   )

Then Foss retired soon after, and there was more concern about our leadership, the emotional election process and then new leadership. Some people felt they were pressed to take sides. As 4solace said, I had friends across the spectrum and felt so torn, I did...nothing. I did not vote. I did want to be seen as taking sides. (Yes, I was a friend of AAA since he and Dean were the first to welcome me here. Did I agree with everything? No, and he knows that. I have diagreed with every single friend here, and they with me.) But guess what? By trying to avoid the situation, I lost freinds because they assumed I had taken a side, and one even snapped at me and that sent me packing. I'm a coward.

We never healed and resolved feelings and those feelings went right along with us. As MFB, I did not take statements as face value, and I was not alone in doing so. But I take responsibility for my actions as 4solace so eloquently stated above.

But let us try now to be the community we have been and want to be. Passions are high because people care; we just need to redirect that, and 4solace and Maguti are among those who threw out good ideas. What was great was no one argued about those ideas. Let's keep those going so our admins can consider them. I have one!

I can understand when Fandom says someone who has been "banned" cannot serve in an admin role. But a "block?" That's harsh! No, I don't agree with that. I think that should be changed to after a determined time period, that member is in as good and full standing as anyone else. People can make mistakes early on in their activity -- even unknowingly -- and I think we can be more understanding and compassionate. Anyway. ..just a thought..

Kat was a friend and member like all of us before she was elected, and she is still a friend and member. She knew she'd take flak. It's natural to state your concern/objection to the decision, but we don't have to judge the person. I have a thin skin and could never have withstood the emotions expressed here recently. (Don't worry. I am guilty as anyone. I am more sorry than i could ever express, but then again I don't have many who know me here.)

While I agree that most disagreements are between the participants, I also think that if in the future I see a friend stepping over a line, I will ask them to take a deep breath and revisit the issue afterward. Please, feel welcome to do the same to me and for me. I appreciate "reality checks." I should have done so with Kat and MFB and failed them both. I was a coward.

So let's do as MD has asked...as Kat and EL have asked...and Sannse has asked...and countless numbers of you have asked, let's give the team a chance and ourselves as well. Let's give each other a chance. Then hopefully we can be the community to welcome MFB if she wishes to rejoin us.

Okay, you've rolled your eyes at me. I get that a lot. I am not holding myself as an example of good behavior -- I am a coward and have offended. But I am going to do what 4solace and PapillonBeauty advise, and move on. You can say anything you want to me. I will not argue; how you view me is how you view me. I can try to be a better person, but that's up to me and my choice and my responsibility.

THank you for bearing with me if you managed to live through this looooooooooooooooooong and winding post.

And in the spirit of a positive note, I shall now take my nap in the new PJs that Reeske sent to me.