Thread:4solace/@comment-28519806-20180212203536/@comment-28482541-20180213031106

Hello all. I have showered and washed all the horse smell off of me so I should not stink, and I left my boots in the garage so no horse poop would come in the house with me, lol. It was my girls first dressage exhibition. She just recently started English. So it is new. Up until now she has done Western since she was five. Trail, roping, and barrel racing. Now she is learning English style with Dressage and Jumping.

Personally I really appreciated Kat’s message to me. In no way did I ever feel she was skirting any in the community, if anything I feel she was trying to avoid and calm an already tense situation. That is part of an admins job after all. There are already 4 threads going that have notifications for me every time I sign in and they are all tension filled. I feel like I, and a lot of the membership feel, as if enough is enough. I saw yet another thread, and a member is begging for it to just stop. Many feel the same. So I see Kats attempt here as her trying to simplify an already complicated mess. As I stated above, walls are not actually private and I have made it clear that ALL are welcome. It might have been different if it was in an email, but it was not. It is here for all to see. Nit picking it is not doing any good at all but just contributing to the continuation of the turmoil. The whole purpose of voting on the admins is to try and ease that turmoil. So let that happen. It has started and Kat has been gracious in her participation in this process because she could have been ungracious or she could have said to heck with you all. She did not. She is still here and she is trying. She may make mistakes, but in the end it is the members of this community who will decide. Isn’t that what is wanted? If it would make everyone feel better, I can as MD to highlight this if she feels it is necessary.

El, I also appreciate your point of view, and you brought up several good points. For me, in this moment, those points are getting lost. I will have to revisit them later when I have more time and am not so tired. I will say that if you open with what seems, whether you meant it that way or not, a combative stance, then the rest is just noise and you are not heard. I would like to urge you to have some patience. Try and remember times you felt picked on or attacked and what your lash out reaction was. We are all just human here. I think maybe you two are so used to this way of communication between the yourselves, that every time you read anything from the other, it sounds like an attack in your heads. Maybe try and take a break from it for a bit and see if some time and air helps, and the next time you try and read something of the others, try and remember this. Walk away for a bit and then come and read again. You just may realize it sounds a little different the second time.

Now you should know that I have no qualms of calling out Kat on her behavior and communication style, as I have done so several times, but you also must have realized that I also, many times, have given Kat credit for changing her behavior. She is trying. I can see it. Sometimes it may seem she slips, but half of that time it may be our own biases and perception. She is human. Humans make mistakes. I really think she is trying to get her footing and learning as she goes. And as you know, I have also called you out on your communication style, and I have given you credit with your restraint. You have also called me on mine. You and I agree in some things and disagree on others, and yet we have found a way to coexist with respect and friendship. I would like us all to do the same.