Thread:Betty2015/@comment-28694170-20170719172638

June 8, 2016 marks the anniversary of my joining this game forum, and it continues to be one of THE BEST decisions that I have ever made in my entire life. It continues to feel like I have been here much longer, and it continues to feel like home. ❤️💛💚💙💜💗

I remember when I first joined this game forum that I was looking for an answer to an error message question that I kept getting. I had used this game forum to get friend codes, but I was not aware of this incredible network of people who loved playing the game and who loved helping each other. I found so much fun and laughter here that I laughed my way out of a mild depression that I was going through.

I have suffered from depression off and on throughout my life, and they were usually related to the circumstances in my life. My Dad had been diagnosed in 2013 with Parkinson's, my brother and I were not getting along, and I had even stopped going to church because THE BEST church that I had ever attended closed its doors and joined another church. With my background in Human Resources and Organizational Design, I knew in my heart of hearts that it would not work. The only "happiness" that I found was playing this game.

For a number of years, my life consisted of work and playing this game. I did not socialize, I did not travel, and I was not truly enjoying my life. I was just going through the motions of life. I felt stuck in a job that I did not enjoy, but I felt like I had nothing to offer the world. After I joined the game forum, I was reminded of all of the skills and abilities that I had, and I was having so much fun and laughter here!!! 😂😂😂

The relationship with my brother seemed to have improved when he, my sister-in-law, and my two little nieces visited at the end of June 2016. The interactions with people on this game forum lifted my mood. I returned to work a MUCH happier person. The Director who had originally hired me came to my cubicle and she said, "You have been like a rock star." Through extremely happy tears, I said," I had a really good vacation." I started calling myself Fun Betty at work, and I posted on my cubicle wall -- to remind myself and others -- "I pledge to make a fun and positive contribution to the work environment." And I proceeded to do that. I got to know almost everybody on my floor through interactions in the lunch room, by the elevator, at the photocopier. I reached out to new people to offer my help where possible.

My immediate supervisor was on vacation for several weeks, so I enjoyed the freedom of a less busy work schedule. When she got back from vacation, I quickly realized that she did not bring out THE BEST in me, and she likely never would. We had been working together for three years, and I had felt depressed for the majority of that time. I even got written up for playing games on my iPad (it wasn't even this game!!! 😂😂😂). She had given me multiple verbal warnings, and I just did not care. Apathy was one of the signs of my depression. I did not make excuses for my mistake, and I accepted responsibility for the letter of reprimand. Because of her lack of competence as a manager, she proceeded to criticize me for the 10% of my job that I was not doing well, instead of focussing on the 90% of my job that I was doing well. I felt like she preferred the depressed Betty over the Fun Betty. I preferred the Fun Betty.

In July 2016, my Dad's Parkinson's had progressed, and I took over the care of my Dad from my sister. He had already been in a long-term care facility for a number of years. I had a flexible work schedule, so I was able to get time off to go with him to his appointments. Because I had been written up for playing on my iPad, I tried to be Superwoman, which was the absolute worse thing that I could have done while my Dad was sick. I started to fall behind in my work. It is extremely difficult for me to ask for help and to admit to others that I am not coping. I did not feel encouraged to ask for help from my supervisor either.

It became clear to me that my ability to cope was slipping. I could not handle the stress of my Dad being sick, and the stress of a toxic work environment. In the middle of October, I went to see my doctor, and I got a doctor's note to be off work for 6 weeks. I then extended that to an additional 9 weeks until the end of January 2017. In August 2016, I had planned a vacation to go to Toronto and then Jamaica at the end of December 2016 and the beginning of January 2017. And I had every intention of going.

Because I dared to draw a line in the sand to protect my emotional health, I was treated like a terrible employee who was "faking" their symptoms. My supervisor knew that I was depressed for a couple of years, and she had encouraged me to talk to somebody during my performance assessments. I did not want to go because I was in denial. Had I broken my wrists, or been hospitalized, I would have received phone calls, e-mails, cards, offers of food. But I did not hear from anybody. Except the one person in my department who had a background in mental health. It is ironic that I was working for the largest health organizations in Canada that had access to LOTS of resources on mental health. My supervisor micromanages her staff, including the Director and a Manager who know way more about Accreditation than she does. My supervisor had zero experience in Accreditation and zero experience supervising staff. The only reason that she got hired was because she knew the person who hired her.

My supervisor felt that I should be home resting, which is the absolute worse thing that somebody with depression should do. I talked to my doctor who wrote me the note, and she said that I should do "whatever I need to do to get healthy." So I hopped on a plane and went to visit my family in Toronto. I reflected a lot, and I realized that I had been doing the job of two people for a number of years. I had asked my supervisor many times who my cover off was, and she was too busy micromanaging her staff that she never got around to figuring it out.

The time off was exactly what I needed to develop some coping strategies and to recognize the part that I played in the breakdown of our relationship.

I ended up losing my job at the beginning of February. During a hiring freeze, they decided to terminate me without cause. I had asked them to consider putting me in a different area that was less stressful. While I was given a severance package, I felt blindsided, and it took awhile for me to get over that. I got some counselling from a psychologist, and she helped me to understand my feelings better. I made some decisions to simplify my life, and I continued to put my best foot forward.

The only thing that kept be sane sometimes were the caring people at this game forum. You know who you are. Just knowing that there would be somebody here was an incredible source of comfort for me.

All this to say that I have been extremely busy in my real life, so I was not here when the poop hit the fan. I did not even know about Fandom until recently. This community has grown since last summer. With growth comes challenges, including many different personalities.

Although I am not an Admin, I have been given the opportunity to provide input -- something which I never had the time to do, or was given the opportunity to do. The Wiki Team has asked for time to get to know one another, and we are working together to return this game forum to a "fun" place. GEL, Kat, MD, and I care about this game forum more than anybody will ever know. GEL and Kat have put in countless hours editing. It saddens me to see them get attacked time and again. They inherited a hostile environment. None of us are perfect, but we are all doing our best to move forward. We are all volunteers, and we all have real lives. I do not feel that the expectation for instant responses is realistic.

If we are all going to move forward, I feel that each and every one of us needs to make that decision to move forward. Leave the past in the past. I do not feel that revisiting old grudges and past hurts helps this community.

I am an eternal optimist, but I am also a realist. If the temperature of this game forum does not improve soon, I will be resigning from my position of Chat Moderator. I hope it does not come to this, but I need to spend time building my company and looking for a job to supplement my income. My boyfriend suffers from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety. He was my high school grad date, so I have known him for 34 years of my life. Outside of my family, he is the most important person in my life.

Because this game forum has had such a positive impact on my life going forward, I will continue to be part of this community regardless of whether I am part of the Wiki Team. I will resume my online parties in September.

I continue to look forward to getting to know my current friends better, meeting new friends, and more fun and laughter as we all progress through the game and the challenges -- game-related and real life -- together. ..

😈😈😈😎😎😎⭐️⭐️⭐️🍪🍪🍪❤️❤️❤️💛💛💛💚💚💚💙💙💙💜💜💜💗💗💗 