Thread:KJ8/@comment-27990581-20170315115112

Missing you. I'm here. I miss you, my dear friends. I miss playing. I miss gifting. I miss knowing what's going on with all of you. I want to say hello. And thank you for everything, here and in the game. I'm sorry. I hope some day I'll write something nice, something happy, because now every time I write here there's always just one problem or another. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry.

Going back to square one. I was wrong. I can't do it without help. I had the biggest anxiety attack in my life a few days ago, I thought I was going to die. It was a result of everything that's going on and was stimulated with what's going on at home with my so called parents. I got sedatives to get through a few days until I could visit a psychiatrist. I went to him. We talked for an hour. i have his personal number in case I needed him. He also has a private practise as a psychotherapist. I will have check-ups with him once a month and in a month or so I'll start psychotherapy (he doesn't charge a lot like others). I...yes, I got ADs again. I'll start taking them on Saturday. I'm scared because of all that happened at the end of last year, but now every day is full of fear and panic and it doesn't go away. I have severe anxiety and depression. He suggested hospitalization, but I refused it because I can't leave my son. I did try on my own, I really did for a long time, sice I was 9 years old. And this year after I stopped taking ADs it was OK after time, but now since mom's hospitalization it got so much worse. Dad's yelling at me every single day, calling me a moron and worse. I couldn't breathe. I just fell.

Doli, I'm sorry. I tried, but I can't. 