Thread:Katlovr/@comment-28482541-20170719213315

I know you have not had it easy of late. I know you are feeling attacked. I am going to share my perception of this with you. I feel you are so far down in a defensive everybody's against me hole that you have lost perspective. The defensive stance has now become an attack stance. And I feel your pain. And I know that in that space it is almost impossible to feel any one else's pain. And yet, that is what I am asking you to do. It is why I want to acknowledge your pain. I want to soothe your pain. I want to hold you up through it. I want you to take a breath.

You have been a valued and active member since you first got here. You are my friend. I am still yours whether you believe it or not. Sometimes a friends job is to "jerk a knot in your tail" as my grandmother used to say. You may not want to hear it, but you need to hear it. The hardest thing to do is to look at our own behavior and then admit we were wrong. I know I suck at it. And we want to go....yes, but others behavior......well, others behavior does not matter. We cannot control their behavior, only our own.

I do not think that you are even aware that many of your reactions and posts have been through a veil of defensiveness bordering on attack. But of course, this is my perception as well. There are many who have the same perceptions. And this being written words without tone, inflection, gestures, and facial expressions makes it all the more difficult for all of us. I know I have to re-evaluate myself all the time. And some see your reactions as an out right attack as well as having authoritarianism overtones. They see it as you saying my way or no way. From my perception, it is more an unwillingness to hear and value what others have to say that I think comes from a very defensive state. I see you in self preservation mode now.

I am asking you to think about these things. Do you find truth in my perceptions of things?

I am not saying all this mess is all your fault. It is NOT. There are many others involved, all of us, me included. I am saying that you AND each and every one of us need to step back, take a breath, and re-evaluate our own behavior and reactions. All. Of. Us. But I do think that it starts with you as Admin to lead the way.

I have thought from the beginning that the admins need time. I am just not sure many will survive that time, at least not unscathed, if at all. I am sorry that that is how it is. So, how do we get there? I have no idea! I am willing to do whatever I can to help. I think though that many come from a place where you are going to have to try and meet them half way instead of my way or no way. That includes MD. Right now, she is your best asset and maybe your saving grace.

I hope that this time you will really hear me and not just react defensively. I hope that you can understand that this comes from a place of friendship and love. I hope that you hear that I want to work with you in healing. 