Thread:Merrimack/@comment-26384327-20160711071507/@comment-32738051-20160711113927

Hi AAA! First thanks for contacting me on my wall instead of doing this elsewhere, like a forum, where it would probably have too many cooks in the kitchen and created another mess. I shall try to respond to everything you have said but it won't necessarily be in order and it will take me a really long time to start, let alone finish, as it is morning already and I haven't been to bed yet and have had little sleep since this whole thing started (both issues) and am currently unemployed and needing to do my job search instead and that is at least two-four weeks worth of work. But I care about everyone I know here and more I care about this community and so I am making the time as much as I can until hopefully things are back to normal. Which, by the way, shouldn't be contingent on the removal or the continuance of one user here. Wouldn't you agree?

For now though, I really do need to get some sleep and later this morning I do need to take care of myself for awhile before I can come back to this. I will tell you I have read your whole post here and have also read volumes of information on this already from numerous sources, including deleted posts and threads and content outside this Wiki. I did not say any word I said anywhere lightly or without due diligence and, as anyone who really knows me can tell you, I never rush anything I write, not even when I come to someone's defense. It just may take me a good bit of time to go back through everything and gather and quote and reference all the proof you have requested.

And I will say this much also because I can do so and you should accept it without need of proof because it answers your questions about how I feel as opposed to what I've found and read. I say what I say because no one else is defending him and I honestly believe through a lifetime of experiences (I'm 51 by the way) that no one individual is totally evil (except possibly a few serial killers I can think of)...we all have someone who loves us, we all have people who know the better side of us. In my whole entire life, I have not yet met one person I would call evil or say they're without any redeeming qualities (though I don't know any serial killers). I have always been able to see both sides of any circumstance, happening or issue between two people or two factions. And I also try very hard to see evidence for what it is and also what it isn't. I know everything in life is fluid and someone we believe to be terrible today can be become a better person tomorrow or in a few days, weeks, months or years, even if it is only with a lot of help. And likewise, people we believe to be good today can later become bad as well. I have seen both in my life and you shouldn't need me to prove it as I am sure you have seen it too. I know that I can be friends with two people who hate each other...it isn't easy but I've proven I can do it. I have known people who have been given multiple chances and failed to become a better person, people whom I have wanted to give up on when someone else had faith in them and said one more chance and that turned out to be all they needed.

You don't think he's worth defending but here in the U.S. (where I am and, according to TDC, where he is...I have no idea where you are) we operate on a principle of innocent until proven guilty and everyone is entitled to a defense. I'm not a fan of people who maliciously attack other people but, as I already figured and someone else recently pointed out, TDC is young and I've known other young people who have come across like him. I've worked on an ongoing basis with people like that. It is something one only grows out of with guidance, experience and age. I've even known some who were so young and cocky and arrogant and thought they knew it all that they never could believe they were wrong even when multiple persons showed them proof they were. Some young people are like that. But those I've known to be like this weren't being malicious about it. I've also known others who are either that way or come across that way no matter how old they are simply because of where they are from and their life experiences. Those people tend to always be that way and you either don't interact with them, if that is possible, or you have to adjust and learn to accept them for how they are. Neither of which is necessarily malicious. A few of those have been pretty cocky or arrogant too. And not everyone is well-versed in online etiquette. Some people dive on in and start doing stuff online and they don't know the rules of the road or they forget them and they do things they shouldn't. Sometimes they don't understand they've done something wrong when they have, even, like with some young people, when they have been given proof of this. Sometimes people only learn right from wrong after it's been drilled into their memories time and time again. And some people are real eager beavers who don't stop to consider what they do before they do it simply because they just want to do so much so fast, like a candle burning itself out quickly. Sometimes those people are so eager only because they know they have time now but won't for very long and they don't want the chance to slip by them. And geez, do I really have to point out the obvious that no matter what we think we know about TDC, no matter what we believe he has proved himself capable of, not one of us - not even one of us - actually knows him in person. All the evidence in the world is never a complete substitute for what one can glean about a person when you look them in the eye and you actually speak with them face-to-face and you actually witness what they do day-to-day. I don't know how many people you've known, how many people you've been friends with but I can tell you I've known thousands of people - in person as opposed to online - over the course of my life that I have called friend. No joke. I may not have a clinical psychology degree like your wife but I have worked with people who have PhDs in Psychology and I have many years of experience working in human resources and working in customer-facing jobs. And I can tell you two things: (1) psychologists (and psychiatrists) don't know everything and they are not always right in their diagnosis (like any doctor they often make reasonable suppositions or educated guesses) and (2) if you've had enough experiences and you've known enough people in person, you can know how to recognize the same in others, even online, and even be able to judge them better than any doctor ever will. You think you know TDC but I'm not really sure that you do and I'm not even sure you ever wanted to. Not really. That's not a judgment based on evidence; that's called knowing in general the ways people are and the difference between what they say and what they feel; it's also my gut reaction. Notice I say I'm not sure. Because despite what my gut is telling me and no matter what you profess and no matter how much evidence you find to support your position, you really don't know me personally, I really don't know you personally, neither one of us really knows TDC personally and that is always going to be the one piece of the puzzle that will remain missing. So I may think something but I won't say I'm sure and I do give the benefit of the doubt, to TDC, to you, to others I know online. But frankly, I think I sense something there that none of you can, or at least not that you're willing to sense. Am I right or wrong? Have I decided his guilt or innocence (for lack of a better term) one way or the other? I couldn't tell you yet on either count - my jury is still out deliberating - but neither have I seen enough evidence yet to prove to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that he should be cast out. Something I read between the lines in all the evidence I've reviewed tells me there is more to the truth than just what is in black and white on the page or screen. Something I sense in TDC tells me he is worth one final benefit of the doubt, one final chance to prove he can do better, at least from me if no one else and certainly he is entitled to have a defender, especially in the face of so many opponents. And I believe that the next time, if there is one, that he does something so wrong here, something like what he did on Wikipedia, that Foss will have to ban him permanently, then I believe Foss will take the necessary action. But until then, we're waiting to see if he can do better. And as long as we are, I intend to help him learn to be better. I'm not going to go defending him everywhere - I am sick and tired of all this too and I had wanted last night to be the last thing I ever said about the whole stupid situation. But I know categorically, and you can call this a prophecy of my own, that if this doesn't stop, if while he is still a member here this call for his removal in all these posts everywhere doesn't stop, then he won't get any better and he will do something eventually to force his removal and this community will lose something far more precious than losing one user: everything that has made it the great and caring community that it has been. Because it hasn't just been TDC causing hurt. All the discussions, and I use that term loosely, back and forth have been very heated - I know they have been because of all the hurt I've seen expressed by so many who have witnessed this. This community is really hurting right now and so many just want things to get back to the way it was before all this hoopla (from both situations that have occurred). But there are too many people who won't let that happen and that is destroying this community, faster and more assuredly than any of TDC's actions so far. And I can provide volumes of proof of this. I defend TDC in part because I believe in this community and I want it to stop hurting and kicking him out may not be the best way to accomplish that but I think doing what we have always done best will. And that is to give him that final chance with a fresh start (and by that I don't mean to treat everything that went before as if it never happened but rather to reserve our judgment so as to truly give him the best shot at a final chance). And to reach out to him and help him see through positive and constructive guidance where he could do better and how he might be misinterpreted (because that's part of what we do...the guidance part, not the misinterpretation part, though we do that too). And to let things get a little quieter so people can have fun again, can enjoy it here again, and can get back to what made this site great so we don't lose that while the jury continues its deliberations. That is worth defending and that I will fight to the end, or until I leave this community, to preserve it.

Now onto real life and all the proof you asked for. Stay tuned and please be patient. Hopefully now you get why I was coming from where I was coming. Man, if you thought this was long, wait til you see what's next. At least it will be more dispassionate.